July 28 th 2026
Hip hip hooray today is the first day I have felt back in touch with myself....since I arrived it has been all about other people's needs, laundry ,cleaning, cooking , other folks music ... all of which I have enjoyed being part of.
It is time for me now I have said my goodbyes felt the loss and now it is all about me for a few days.
Today I wakened feeling optimistic, I had a shower , did Jane, morning pages, gratitude journal and peace journal...everything is as I left it last night there is no laundry to do no cleaning .I am at peace.
Me and Jane.
morning writing rituals
On July 26th Andrew's birthday the day after I said farewell to Philip and Teresa it was the feast of St James . The town was buzzing with bands and beautiful people. It was very cheering as I was feeling sad at the loss of P&T and the end of all the things I had been planning for a long time...all the family and friends coming and going. All that can be done is go through the grief.
Happy birthday Andrew Mark
56 years ago today
The beautiful people old and young and the music cheered me; how can they not it is all so up lifting.
27th July
I went out to get some cleaning things for Maria and loos rolls etc for the incoming guests.It was unbearable hot even early on. I made up all the beds for our guests ,no fun in the heat, now all I have to do on August 3rd is change my bed.
I had a zoom chat with Sandra in the afternoon after finishing part two of this blog. It was really good to see her and catch up.
I have been sleeping a lot and that has to be good for my recovery from " everything" I live on very cold melons which are delicious. I have watched some old favourite films, listened to some old favourite audible books and enjoyed peaceful music. I have not felt up to new things.
I can understand why folk say " old people live in the past" 😆
Back to 28th.
I feel more alive It feels cooler. Lucy left me a book and I feel like starting something new.
I am going off to the Tuesday Market and I don't need anything...what a treat..no lists.
After the market I had a lovely siesta and wakened still tired..it was so very hot .
I sorted out a lot of boxes in my room that I have not had time to get around to and happily found the courage to throw away some things I have held on to for a long time due to being sentimental. Some things I still can't let go of.Maybe the day'll come or Andrew and Philip will do it one day.
I don't want them to have to do that though...it's a very painful thing to have to do. I was very upset sorting through our Mum and Dad's things.
Castlenel by itself holds many wonderful memories, these little trinkets really don't matter so much....and yet...
I watched September 5th last night.I saw it at Fact when it first came out.It is a very very good ,but sad ( of course) film.
I have watched a few episodes of Everwood .I quite like it it is easy watching reminds me of The Waltons.
July 29th
Teresa left for Taiwan this morning and Philip checks in tonight at 6.00. Soon they will really be gone and out of my time zone. Via con Dias.
I am glad to be back in my morning routines. I went to meet Ann Marie for coffee but her car was not out of the garage in time . I really enjoyed my cafe solo and agua con gas in a very tranquil La Bassetta.
I have done a final clean in SPTDV and covered up Philips computer printer and all. The new wall has made a huge difference to cleaning down there.The sink is still clogged in spite of the stuff Philip was using to clear it. I will keep putting it down in case it works
SPTDV.
A wander in the market
Coffee at La Bassetta
I have had to put the a/c on in RoR otherwise I can't do anything, just sleep.
As I was walking down for coffee I heard a voice saying " do you speak Scottish" it was Jim of Mandy and Jim from Kilmarnock. He is such a nice man,I hope to see them next time I am here they live in El Campo now.
I was in a hurry and did not have time to get his contact details he thinks Andrew or Philip might have them. Philip does not, just checked.
It is time for a siesta I already feel as if I have done a days work.
The lights are going up round town for the M&C festival.
Philip is keeping in touch
Teresa keeping in touch
I have just heard from Teresa, she is safely home in the Mountain House with her cats 😻
Looking forward to hearing that Philip is there too.
Philip is safely in Taipei
Philip has just touched down in Taipei....hooray. They came, we had an amazing time and they left.
July 30th.
I had my last bath in PJ2 bathroom last night...bliss Maria is in today to clean for the guests coming in. I will have showers in the scullery from now till I leave.
I have packed away all of my angels etc this morning and she is cleaning. I will be able to have a really nice last few days with little house work to do.
I am having a zoom with Susan in half a hour.
After my call with Susan, I said goodbye to Marie she has left the house clean and smelling lovely... Pilar came in to say a quick goodbye. She told me Maria ( neighbour) fell down the stairs and is covered in bruises. I will take her some cakes in the next few days.
Now I have a clean peaceful home and nothing in the diary till tomorrow at 11.15 when I go to Isha for my massage.
As it is very hot I will stay home and watch a movie and sleep and read. I will go out later when it is cooler.
I have some more ideas for "Grannie's Kitchen"
I want to spend the next few days doing more work on that.
July 31
I had thee most wonderful massage with Isha; without doubt she is the best masseur I have had so far. She gives about 90 minutes and charges 50 euro.I would happily pay twice that for what she gives.
She asked if I worked I told her what I did...she said I like to give a massage to people like you who bring "light " I love that she recognises me. Helen means light and I do like to lighted peoples burden if I am able to, even if it is just a smile or a hug.
During my massage I had a vision , one I had before when I was at a singing course in the Granada Mountains, where I had a song bath, that is when you lie on the floor and everyone sings you name and or names you go by. I had Helen, ,Nel , Harmonay.
.It was a truly beautiful experience and very emotional. I had this vision . I could see a circle of people all in white looking down on me smiling they were, my grandparents, aunts uncles ,all people who are all dead..and who I loved.It was amazing to experience it again today.
Perhaps they are calling me... I don't believe in life after death conversely I can think thoughts like this. What a mixture of golden threads we are.
I have been watching The Bombing of Pan Am 103. I learned more than I already knew; it has more in it than Lockerbie and is less sentimental. I enjoyed the many Scottish actors in it.
So this is the last day of July and what a month it has been.
“Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful too.”
August 1 st
I had a very peaceful today.... a wee wander in the market and bought two dresses and a skirt ,total cost 35 euro. I had a coffee and toast at Pehuen. I noticed there is to be a concert at the town square later this evening.
I was sad to see they are setting up for the Bull Running later this month.
I started packing my case to go back to Liverpool. It is always a poignant moment . I experience a sadness about leaving Castlenel and at the same time I feel joy looking forward to so many things when I am back in Liverpool.
Feeling are complex things and it is understandable that I feel tired experiencing all of them.
I feel much closer to John here ;when the bells ring I feel his presence between the two sets of chimes. Yet I know it is a feeling not a reality. John and I often called each other by our last names in affection. I can sometimes imaging I hear him saying
" I am here Collins" "I am watching over you Collins, your are doing ok"
I find it comforting, what goes on in our heard can kill or cure us. Over the years I have learned to give myself encouragement rather that criticism . It is lovely to hear it in John's lovely voice.
My favourite indoor market stall.
Bull Running Stands.
Sofia is back from Valencia she popped in to say hello.it was lovely to see her.I gave her the gifts Teresa left for her and some art things for the children that I cleared out of the SPTDV.
We took the big bag of things for charity to Isobel( she know who needs things) and I gave her a dress of mine and she will take the hem up for me.
I went to the concert in the square. Our local band is Castalla St Cecelia Band they have a youth group and they wee playing with some of the older members. They were great. It is wonderful to see this tradition is flourishing. Many folk out supporting them.
I took a few videos but have not had a lesson on how to upload one on my blog yet.
“Community is the spirit that draws people together.” “A community is only as strong as its members.” “To be a good neighbour is to have a smile on your face and warmth in your heart.” “Community is a place where we can experience love, acceptance, and a sense of belonging.”
August 2nd
My penultimate day in Castlenel.
It has been another very hot day 36 degrees....it s only 4.00 PM and already I have had two cold showers.
I have done all I can about leaving till tomorrow...including checking in and uploading my boarding pass to my wallet..always a little each day then it is not too much on the last day.
I completely forgot I had bought "Song Sung Blue "on Amazon Prime. I have just finished watching it and I am totally wrung out.
I knew nothing about this couple so everything was new and surprising...they were the love of each others lives and they integrated two families and had many struggles...their love for each other sustained them and it shone through. Is it any wonder I am wrung out?
I am meeting Sofia ,Frank and the children for ice cream between 6.00 and 7.00 PM
In 34 degrees at 6.30 PM we met to eat ice cream and this new Ice Cream parlour .The flavours on offer are fabulous; I had Chocolate and Turron ... we had a lovely catch up ; Ember is gorgeous Edith and Aiden were fed up quite quickly after the ice cream....quite normal at their ages.
we went for a walk then said adios till Sept 30th apart from Frank who will take me to the airport tomorrow evening at 6.00PM
My last evening in Castalla till Sept 30th with....
Sofia Ember Edith Aiden Frank Helen
This party is proof that good times and great friends make the perfect combination.
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