A Continuation of Reflections

Hello John I took the sweet peas framed picture to Dr Hussein- it was a truly meaningful experience for him and for me. He met me right away - I went in at the beginning of the clinic so the place was empty something I have never seen in that place- he took me to his little room and there was a nurse in with him-who I was introduced to. I said I wanted him to open the gift then I would tell him why I was there.- I included in the package- a card from the family giving him our thanks for his care- a copy of the order of service from your funeral- and your short story Salthouse Quay. When he opened the package he was so touched- he said that you had told him a picture was coming to him and that you had discussed the colour of the frame. I told him about your time- our time in Marie Curie and that being with you when you died was such a precious time for me and I hope you. He said how much you had touched him and the staff there- that you put up a great fight for life- an...

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.  But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you"   Winnie the Pooh   from Maz. Those we love don't go away. They walk beside us every day... Unseen, unheard, but always near, Still loved, still missed, and very dear. I'll miss you from Rachel Dear lovely John- this morning these two quote were in my mailbox-I can't stop crying- I hope you are near- and if you are that is good- but not the same as being here in the flesh giving me a hug and making me a cuppa- opening a bottle of wine- going shopping together-going to Fact- planning holidays.................................................... I can't get my self together since Valentine's day- maybe this is me into stage three of grief I feel a bit anxious and I keep checking ...

Hello John today people all over \Britain will be having pancakes- we had ours on Saturday-so I don't feel like having them again. Now we move into Lent- as you know I am not religious and don't go to church- or very occasionally I go to the cathedral if it is a particularly nice service. I like the rhythm of church life though--as like the rhythm of the days weeks and year in Castalla-all connected with the church of course. After the excesses of Christmas -Lent feels like a nice balance- a time to go inward- eat less drink less spend less what ever folk decide to do-reflect on the now- the past- the future- loss- despair-hope- whatever the topic- I am going to run a few workshops on Monday evenings for my Artist's Way group - I feel up to it- they all know what has been happening in my life- and I feel comfortable with them. I am still quite fragile to-day a bit weepy. I am meeting Sue for Lunch at Leaf I will enjoy that. Then I am taking Lucy birthday bag b...

Dear John I feel so sad- and I miss you so much- we had our first Valentine's day without you- you and I  did not make a big things of it- but we always made cards- and had nice food and wine- celebrated our love..... I made a big effort- it was Lucy's birthday supper that night- so I wanted things to be lovely for her- as we did when it was the two of us-but I had you in mind too- lots of hearts - heart lights- paper hearts scattered on the table heart sparklers--. I feel now that I have been brave long enough and now you have to come back - to take the pain away. It will soon be 23rd Feb the anniversary of the day we met- I am going to London to have lunch with Ellie- we are going to the River Cafe- her treat- I am looking forward to it- I do enjoy being with close family and friends- It really helps- like an anaesthetic - but the pain is still quite fierce at times too- and I know it is normal for this stage of grief- can't imagine I will ever not feel the loss ...

Hello John to day is St Blaze's day the day when the church blesses throats.This was our day for thinking about dad.I miss my dear pa I talk to him regularly at the 5 trees when I am in the park.I ask him to take care of you-- crazy I know -I make up stories- you have just arrived where ever you arrive after you die- and my dad is there waiting for you to show you the ropes- maybe your mum and dad are there too waiting to be reunited after all those years. I saw Patsy yesterday - she took the fold down bed away - it has been very useful during this time of folk coming and going. I saw a nice bed on line- a single bed with another bed underneath- such a great idea.It would only be used for an occasional stay over but handy-yet now the other bed has gone I am enjoying the space in the bedroom.Perhaps a fold away bed is better as it can be stored in the cellar of shed..well wrapped up. Now Philip is going off to China- I will need it much less- Sandra and Jackie would be the ...

  hello dear ones - some photos from today: May we all be under Brigit's mantle. May her footsteps truly melt the snow, and may our newly-planted seeds swell and sprout. May the seasons continue to turn, and our dreams open up into blossoms, sweet scented and bright. And may they, in time, bear delicious fruits to nourish our souls. with love and blessings, Ruth Attachments area Preview attachment greeting for brigit's day 2015.jpg greeting for brigit's day 2015.jpg

I meant to say John--- last night when I could not sleep I heard on Radio 4 Desert Island discs--I just called to say I love you......what we used to say and singin our early days together--- we loved that song and used to dance when we heard it,I bought the 45--still have the cover in castlenel--no idea what happened to the record.. I loved hearing it again- it was like a balm flooding through me--very comforting---you were still leaving me that message on my phone till the end.....I wish I had kept those messages---I will never forget you my love---and our songs-poems- jokes....TT

Dear John you were very much in our thoughts and hearts this weekend- we had a memorable weekend in Stratford. Andrew drove us all there- tough going on a winter's night- and he brilliantly avoided an accident which took place I front of our eyes- a huge truck hit a car in front of him- Andrew saved us from running into the truck- and no one ran into us thank goodness- our angels were looking after us that night. We stayed in the Premier Inn which was a good inexpensive hotel - but a bit of a mystery trying to find our way to and from our rooms- not a well designed place- but comfortable and staff we friendly. We had dinner at the rooftop restaurant of the RSC building- the food was wonderful Andrew totally loved parfait and had two- we enjoyed chatting catching up having wine and relaxing.My wine called Wild Boy cost £33- can you believe it- the food was reasonably priced but the wine was crazy- however we thought -what the hell.I am sure you would have been shocked - but i...