A Continuation of Reflections

hello my darling husband, I have just been to the tree where your ashes are scattered,I go often , also to dad's tree, I find it comforting. I miss you , of course, and all my family. This is a bank holiday weekend, the children are all in China, apart from Johnny and Ellie , they just back from France, Penny and Steve moved into their new home in Cambridge. I will go soon, just difficult to find a date that suits all of us. Andrea is away in Canada now, she has found her dream job. My circle of friends and family is getting smaller and smaller. I am planning some theatre and concert visits now Autumn is almost here- I have spend a lot of extra money while Philip was home and loaned him a lot of money too,so I am having to be careful about money.I have booked my flight to Castalla for Christmas, Andrew and Lucy suggested that we go again the year, I said yes, so I have booked cause the cheap flights are out now, A&L are in China, so I hope this trip is still on. I am...

hello darling I miss you, I have been visiting your tree and think about you all the time. I have been feeling very sad recently, sometimes I think grief gets worse as time goes on. I miss dad I miss Anita I miss my life with my folks and you and friends that have now gone. My only older cousin Peggy Halliday daughter of auntie Frances and Uncle John is dying ,she has lung and brain cancer, she is having treatment but it will only give her a few more months, she is a year older than me.I keep in touch with Frances, my cousin Peggy's sister, but Peggy does not feel like visitors.I totally understand that ,and at the same time I would like to see her one more time. This time of life you can only go on if you can survive loss, but each loss leaves me with less lustre less of my sparkle.I know I can survive loss, but I still do not have a purpose and i know that is important if I want to enjoy my life, sometimes I just want to close my eyes and be with you where you are, even if t...