A Continuation of Reflections

Dear John how I miss you- today I have been so sad- I am going to Stratford with Andrew and Philip for our mums and sons -we are going to see Oppenheimer -It is getting good reviews. I know how much you would have enjoyed this trip I think that is why I have been feeling so sad. I went for a long walk in Sefton Park and the skies were blue and it was very cold- weather I love- it helped me feel better.. Shell have finally got  the pension sorted out -I will get some money- the new pension rate- on February 1st. We have not had anything since December 1st- so it will be good to have some money coming in- the state pension has not been sorted yet- but it will be in time- I just need to be patient. I must go and get ready Andrew will be here in an hour....we will raise a glass to you at the Dirty Duck tonight....this is the official end of my January dryathon- although it is not the end of the month- it is for me--- I did drink wine on the night after your funeral-- but apa...

'Genius in writing is an infinite capacity for making dim words shine and for giving to a commonplace collection of syllables new meaning and magic:                 Ivor Brown                A word in your Ear                                      V136 ' If we are certain of                 anything it is that we are certain               of nothing: '                   Hilary Lawson                    in                    Dismantling Truth.              

Dear John I miss you -I cry a lot- I am glad that you are at peace now. Your funeral was a wonderful celebration of your life. Sandra and Jackie came the day before and we went to Penny and Johnny's rented house on Menlove Avenue that evening for supper " Grandpa's Tuna" It was a lovey time we all drew comfort from each other- and Penny was using humour to get through it and to keep us all going. She said that she was channelling you-maybe she was. I know I will not see you again- but I wish I could-it does not matter how many last hugs we have, last looks, last chats- you still want more. We all gathered here on the morning of your funeral- Sandra Jackie and I were here- then Harry arrived- Julie Raph, Geoff -Andrew Lucy Philip- Penny David Johnny - Lara Lucy. It was an anxious time waiting for you and the limousine to arrive.The Collins's left first- then we waited- chatted- I was sent a lot of flowers and I bought some simple yellow tulips and beesw...

May you know that absence is full of tender  presence and that nothing is ever lost of forgotten. May the absence in your life be full of eternal echo. May you sense around you the secret Elsewhere which holds the presences that have left your life May you be generous in your embrace of loss May the sore of your grief turn into a well of seamless presence. May your compassion reach out to the ones we never hear from and may you have the courage to speak out for the excluded ones. May you become the gracious and passionate subject of your own life. May you not disrespect your mystery through brittle words or false belonging. May you be embraced by God in whom dawn and twilight are one and may your longing inhabit its deepest dreams within the shelter of the Great belonging. John O'Donohue

The thirsty earth soaks up the rain, And drinks,and gapes for drink again. The plants suck in the earth,and are With constant drinking fresh and fair. The sea itself,which one would think Should have but little need of drink, Drinks ten thousands rivers up, So filled that they o'er flow the cup. The busy sun( and one would guess By his drunken fiery face no less) Drinks up the sea,and when he's done The moon and start drink up the sun. They drink and dance by their own light, They drink and revel all the night. Nothing in nature's sober found, But an eternal toast goes round. Fill up the bowl then fill it high, Fill all the glasses there,for why Should every creature drink but why Should every creature drink but I, Why man of morals,tell me why? Abraham Cowley Across the fields as green as spinach Cropped as close as time to Greenwich Stands a high house,if at all, Spring comes like a Paisley shawl- Patternings meticulous And youthfully rid...

As I stand on this d/day beach alone no maddening crows no mobile phones I say a prayer for those who died as the tears well up in my eyes Husbands,sons,some young some old They died that day the six of June so long ago on Sword,Juno,Omah,Utah and Gold I see the stars I breathe the air,to live and laugh,to cry to care Oh I wish they could all see this day,the singing birds,and the fresh cut hay. I thank them for the life I lead,to just believe All those things I owe to them,all the soldiers air-force and navy men May they rest in silent peace,and their memory never fades for their tomorrow they gave their to-day.

I know not how to write or what to say if I lay aside all the metaphors used by all the lovers- why do I not pick up the roses, red,gathered in bouquets by centuries of lovers? Mu father's and all the grandfathers since time began which have led to me,which led to you. And that is the first miracle,that we are here at all,that we share the same time and space and that we ( found) love. John Lightbody.

Pillar " We are citizens of heaven,and are but pilgrims here" I am a piece of paper. A blank sheet. Write on me the name of your god. Mark me fill me with words. I am a pillar of the temple. The roof balances on my head. My feet deep buried in the earth. My limbs carved with vines and fruits The faces of creatures Peer between the leaves I call to the builder "Master! Honour your work Chisel your name and date Mark me as a place in time I stand testament, Monument" I am a sheaf of papers; A book of poems; A multitude of words, I am the voice of prophets I speak fire and song I call the soul to grow ears I am the wind that blows Between the pillars; The breath between words spoken, I am a piece of paper A blank sheet. Not the poet,but the written upon. I am the word that will go no more unspoken. A pillar of the temple A place Where mysteries are revealed. Ruth Marshall, 3rd December 2014.

Dear John I ordered your flowers- daffodils-white carnations- some thistles-and lots of green. "A promise of Spring" it will be diamond shaped- because it is what they do- I decided to trust that is will lovely and we would like it. Johnny and Penny are busy with your funeral arrangements- and packing to travel tomorrow-Andrew has taken today off work- to calm down  a bit- from the stress of all he is doing for us- so he will go for a run- have his beard trimmed- " a gift from Philip for his Christmas' you go to a posh barber in Liverpool One and are treated like a king for half an hour- you would have loved it. The I am meeting him for lunch- although I don't feel like eating- I will go it will do me good to get out. Then he is working on your slide show. I think your funeral will be a beautiful event- so much love and thought has gone into it. I am scared though- I feel overwhelmed- and I know it is such an important day-the last public farewell- we ha...

A Love Poem I know not how to write or what to say if I lay aside all the metaphors used by all the lovers-why do I not pick up the roses,red,gathered in bouquets by centuries of lovers? my father's and all the grandfathers since time began which have led to me,which have led to you.And that is the first miracle. that we are here at all,that we share the same time and space-and that we loved

Dear John I miss you so much- everything reminds me of  you- especially the Christmas rituals -to-day we would normally pack everything away then go and find a bunch of daffodils- probably Tesco or Asda-a promise of springtime. I am to buy some flowers for your coffin- but I want simplicity which you and I both appreciate- and flower shops offer set bouquets which I don't like so much. I know I will have to be at your funeral dear John-and if it was just you and me I would be OK-- but this is so public- so many people the idea makes me feels shaky and scared. I will tell you all about it afterwards..Johnny and Penny and David and their families are all arriving in Liverpool on Thursday - Johnny Penny and the gang are staying in Menlove Avenue as ever- and David and Lara in Hope Street Hotel -I think. Sandra and Jackie are coming on Thursday to be with me- I am so grateful- we will go to Menlove to be with all the children for a few hours on Thursday night- it will be nice ...