A Continuation of Reflections

Hello darling John Yesterday I celebrated the 33 rd anniversary or our meeting by going on the Mersey Ferry and having lunch at The Tate ( a cheese toastie)for you . I enjoyed the day which was greatly helped by beautiful blue skies and sunshine . I remembered our wedding day as well as reliving our meeting day - I was especially thinking of the coffees and lunches we had in the Tate's previous coffee shop which I preferred it was upstairs with a view over the water. I am doing ok , miss you wish we could have wee chats . I imagine that you can hear  the thoughts in my head when I talk to you . Johnny said to me in a text that he has daffodils all through the house in your honour - I am sure he will be telling the children of the daffodils abounding the day he was born - as I retell Andrew the story of The Wonder of You - the first song I heard after he was born - The traditions of telling our family history goes on i have started writing a few stories about you , us ,for the ...

Hello John Today is Martha's third birthday - you were so happy when she was born and you loved her and she loved you as little as she was she lit up when she saw you . She had a lovely birthday feeding ducks in regent park 🤗 I sent her a doll with lots of cloths to change about and a little set of crayons in a little case with a handle . It was Lucy's birthday on 19th we had her celebration on 20 th she enjoyed it all although The Quarter let us down - the service was bad and Lucy's food was disappointing- but we still enjoyed each other's company Liz and Phil were with us - we came back here for desserts - I set the table before I left with our new purple table cloth and placemats and new white napkins - I have lots of fairy lights candles and the place looked well- I made polish cake - Victoria sponge and sachertotre- we had  ice cream and double cream - and a selection of childhood sweets - and of course lots of lovely gifts - I put a photo of us with Philip on ...

Darling John , as I said before , I feel stronger now, less likely to crumple at the drop of a hat, I described this to a friend as, the gaping hole in my middle is being filled in with lots of beautiful colours, and each colour is a memory of  you dear John and a delightful one too.  However I did crumple a little on Valentine's day - I went to Fact to see You Got Mail-- deliberately avoiding Casablanca-  your favourite film. Only to be confronted with lots lovers going into the" box" together,  red cushions on the settees and chocolates being handed out by lovely people wishing us happy valentines day....I did MISS you my darling John at LOT at that moment.I can honestly say though I did like to see so many folk in love  _ I heard a woman on the radio who said she felt resentment ,she has also lost her husband, that is sad. We have had out time, and now other people are having their time.I celebrate love in all forms. This beautiful blue  planet h...

Hello darling John after the sheer desperation I felt over Christmas and your 1st anniversary and three weeks of a bad cough, I feel a lot better. I think I have turned a corner .I think of you and I feel a warm glow I smile when I look at your picture. Instead if the gut wrenching pain I have been feeling ,the gaping hole in my middle seems to be being coloured in by bright colours which are you in many guises. We had a wonderful life together a lot of hard times and a lot of spectacular times, I cherish all the memories Since you went into hospital on September 24th 2014 I have lived alone, and I like it,I like making my own decisions, I like not having to consult, to choose what I want where to go, how I live, what I eat ,which cafe, which movie, which play, which concert. It is not a comparison, I have loved and cherished all stages of my life; this is the one I am living now and it is good. I have less money that I ever had, but feel in control and better off. I love ...