A Continuation of Reflections

Hello darling how I miss you wish you were here for many reasons, not least because I am dealing with FedEx stuff to do with Philip's police report.You always had the patience to sit and wait for calls ,make calls to deal with this kind of thing. I am possessing my soul and patience at the moment.

Hello darling John, January is here with very cold rainy windy weather, as one would expect. I remember our Januarys in Spancilhill, the highlight of our year, almost a month off work, walking Minerva, cooking , reading resting, watch movies. We loved January. I have been to Cambridge again to help Penny with the children while Steve was in Australia at his aunt's funeral. Johnny and Kate were both ill, Harry and Felix were in great form, as always, I call Harry Mr sunshine, he wakes up ready to take on the world with a sunny smile and a very loud voice :) I am having trouble with Housing Benefit office and council tax office , they are saying I have been overpaid by 10.000 in total, which is very scary I went to bed one night debt free and wakened up £10,000 in debt. David Globe is taking care of it for me, he helped me with my will and power of attorney . He is a nice guy a friend of Philip Canter. I have been knocked for six by this, it has thrown me back into dee...

Hello John, I have not blogged for a while, I find it tough, as it stirs up tough feelings. This last quarter has been tough, our birthdays our anniversary Christmas New Year. Visits with Johnny and co Penny and co, and just today David, Lara and Olivia have been here, it was wonderful to see them all again. I gave David our Summer Exhibition Book and our Guide to Venice book, and I asked him to choose one of your pictures, he took my favourite, the one at Callalla de Parafugel. He was very touched and found it hard to take it from me, but my darling John I want all of your pictures to go to the children and the grandchildren, so that your memory will live on in all of them.

Helo John my communications with you are becoming less and less in this blog,but not in my mind. A few weeks ago I was at Mann Island choir and we had to sing " you raise me up " I cried and lot and felt your loss keenly, this is how you made me feel and still do. You raise me up so I can stand on Mountains You raise me up to walk on stormy Seas I am strong when I am on your shoulders,you raise me up to all that I can be. Since then ,I have been feeling stronger, feeling that ,thanks to your unconditional love and acceptance. I can stand on my own two feet, grateful for all we had all you gave me all you left me. You are getting further away in my minds eye, I see you in the distance , half turned between looking back at me , waving smiling, and half ready to move on to where ever your adventure leads you. You are the love of my life, I love you as much as ever, and I am OK, in love and gratitude Helen TT xx

A meadow in which all flowers seek refuge, one that no autumn touches, in which no rose drops its petals. A tree green and graceful, in the middle of the desert, if you sleep in its shade, you wake up drunk. A firmament toward which all souls travel, one where Saturn is not in strife with Venus. A jewel from the mine of pure nonexistence, to which the heart refers when eyes shed tears.