A Continuation of Reflections

I find this all very hard. I thought I would be super woman, in fact, I feel very fragile. I am OK  dispensing the medication, although I feel the responsibility of that,weighs heavy at times.I don't even mind emptying the bottle, doing the laundry, laying out clothes. I do mind, the invasion of the carers, the hospital visits, the ever changing situation, the constant visitors. I hate Mersey Julie  Ann, they are a stressed out organisation,and that impacts on me and then on John. I have too much responsibility ,too much on my shoulders.  I have to register with a new agencies, tomorrow, maybe, but i can't face it. I hate the conversations, I hate feeling patronised.

I thought when I started this blog I would blog everyday. But I have not, I have not read either, or made anything apart from a few scarves and a few birthday cards.I do not feel creative for now. I have to concentrate on the everyday, the ordinary, although not all that ordinary for me. Carers coming in each morning, getting John's every growing medication correct, laundry, cooking, which I only feel like doing occasionally. My own needs have been ignored and as a result I have needed to catch up with blood tests, seems I am short on Vitamin D, a bone scan has now been done, no results yet. Eye test has been done by my lovely optician, as I had to cancel my appointment at the eye hospital.All ok for now. DV. My arms and lower back have been very sore, I was concerned the Polymyalgia had returned, but beth has given me a good treatment, and I have a lot of stress in my body which she has worked on and will again on Tuesday.I think the extreme pain has subsided. Since John has b...